6th April 2021 - Decompression
After a week of daily swimming, skipping yesterday’s swim felt strange. It was a brilliant bank holiday Monday, but we spent it inside, eyes fixed on screens, racing to finish an essay by its Tuesday deadline. We finished this morning, just in time. Exhausted and bleary, my immediate thought was: “lets swim!”
I’ve always found the hours after completing essays and exams stale. Especially when submission involves the mere click of a button amid the detritus of a sleepless, coffee fuelled mania. When I finished my l undergraduate exams I couldn’t bear going back to my house, where housemates were still revising. Instead, I caught a train to London and celebrated with my mum. I did the same thing after handing in my Masters thesis, though that time I was far less functional, having done two straight all nighters and suffering a pounding headache as a result. In comparison with these experiences, this essay frenzy was minor, especially as I was helper rather than author. But when we finished I still felt the urge to get out and do something. To change state, celebrate, decompress.
***
The sunshine was beguiling. Only when we left the flat did we notice flurries of snow and a cutting wind. Our hands nearly numb from the cycle there, we braced ourselves for a very cold swim.
And it was very cold. The water clapped itself around us and burned, shocking us awake. On the first lap, the feeling was so overwhelming that I barely noticed a heron prowling the shallows. By the second lap, I felt calm and in harmony with the water around me. My alligator gaze just above the surface, I examined the heron. It had thin black lines running the length of its throat.
The homeostasis lasted until halfway through getting dressed, and then the wind caught the back of my neck. Shivering and gulping hot tea, we struggled to unlock our bicycles with numb fingers. We cycled back one handed, swapping hands when the one in the pocket got warm enough to take over from the one on the handlebars.
The warmth of the flat and a thawing bath completed the decompression.
We will sleep well tonight.
